Quick thoughts on disclosure
These are just dashed off notes.
Before, during and after the referendum I mulled on the whole personal stories thing and understand how it all helps. I wasn't involved in the campaign. And my thoughts around all this aren't about the campaign, but more in general as I wrote something on celebrity illness and disclosure for college during the final weeks of canvassing and debates, so am very interested with media crafting of personal upset and how people consume that.
What happens after you go public with a story, especially as a woman? Could you be described as a whistleblower? Do you have a duty to tell people what happened to you? And what about shutting up? What about your future self as written and perceived by others? What about the women who did this before and their aftermaths? Is privacy gone? Do people stop caring? How much do you have to spill to be a footnote in history?
I typed this morning to my friend that my personal idea of hell is having to be enthusiastic and responsive 24/7 to internet strangers. But then again I feel it is important I respond to women who contact me about endometriosis.
I was pretty pissed off last weekend when someone who hadn't spoken to me in about 5 years suddenly messaged me to scold me about my views. Thanks for the roaming reforms EU!
One thing I bemoaned to that aforementioned pal about was the sense of ownership social media engenders. I was in the Sofia in Madrid, regretting my jumper and trying to find Guernica, when out of nowhere my life was short-term dominated by the three moving dots. Here is my upset, it is now yours. It was disruptive, and it was not nice. That's cruel of me, I know that, but we can't help how we feel! I'm reappropriating the language.
My social media use and my writing isn't really me. That's all some sort of Jeanne bot engineered by me. The real me was typing out let's be pals etc. while saying aloud 'fuck this', looking down at a phone in front of Picasso.